How to Budget for Deposits and One-Time Setup Fees

Pick your model

Deposits and one-time setup fees can feel “big” because they happen all at once. The easiest way to keep them from turning into friction is to pick a model that matches how you already share money—and then write down simple rules you can both live with.

Here are three models that work well for couples:

Model 1: Income-ratio split (best if incomes differ)

Use a stable ratio based on your take-home pay (for example: 60/40). This keeps the impact proportional without needing to debate every receipt.

Fits you if: one person earns more, or your income gap is noticeable.

Model 2: Equal split with personal buffers (best if incomes are similar)

Split joint setup costs 50/50, but protect each person’s “personal treats” money by agreeing on a cap and a clear list of what counts as joint.

Fits you if: you earn similar amounts and prefer simple math.

Model 3: Role-based split (best if you divide responsibilities, not numbers)

One person takes the deposit, the other takes the setup bundle (or specific categories). You aim for rough fairness over time, not perfect symmetry.

Fits you if: you naturally trade tasks and prefer “you handle this, I handle that.”

Pick one model now. You can always revisit only when something changes (move, job shift, big new cost), but your default should be “follow the rule, not the mood.”

What counts as a “deposit” and what counts as “setup”?

Deposits and one-time fees are easier when you label them. We like these two buckets:

Deposits (money you expect back)

Rental deposit
Utility security deposits (when refundable)
Key or fob deposit (when refundable)

House rule: Treat deposits as temporary money tied up, not spending.

One-time setup fees (money you don’t expect back)

Admin fees, connection fees, activation fees
Moving supplies, moving help
Basic home setup (first-time essentials)

House rule: Treat setup fees as real spending and decide what’s “joint essential” versus “personal preference.”

The simplest system: three pots

To stop deposits and setup costs from leaking into everything else, separate them:

Joint Essentials (shared life)
Personal Treats (no debates)
Move & Setup Fund (temporary project pot)

You don’t need new bank accounts if that adds complexity. You just need shared clarity: what each pot is for and how it gets filled.

Copy-paste rules (adapt the brackets)

Use these as your shared “house rules” document. Keep them short enough that you’ll actually follow them.

Rule set A: Deposits

Deposit split rule (pick one):

Option 1 (income ratio): “All refundable deposits are split [X/Y] based on take-home income.”
Option 2 (equal): “All refundable deposits are split 50/50.”
Option 3 (role-based): “Whoever’s name is on the contract pays the deposit upfront, and we rebalance using the Move & Setup Fund rules.”

Ownership rule (prevents resentment later):

“Our deposit contribution creates a shared claim in the same ratio as the split.”
“If the deposit is returned, it goes back to each of us in the same ratio.”
“If any deposit is withheld, we treat it as a joint cost unless it clearly comes from one person’s choices (see the ‘damage vs. wear’ rule below).”

Damage vs. wear rule (no policing, just boundaries):

“Normal wear is joint. Clear, avoidable damage from one person’s actions is that person’s responsibility—only when it’s obvious.”

Rule set B: One-time setup fees

What counts as joint (keep it tight):

“Joint essentials are: [moving help], [connection fees], [basic cleaning], [minimum furniture to function].”
“Nice-to-haves are personal unless we both explicitly say yes.”

Approval rule (outcome-focused):

“For any one-time purchase above [cap %] of monthly take-home, we pause and agree in one conversation.”
“If we can’t agree, we choose the lower-cost option or make it personal.”

Cost split rule (pick one):

Option 1 (income ratio): “All joint setup fees are split [X/Y].”
Option 2 (equal): “All joint setup fees are split 50/50.”
Option 3 (hybrid): “Fixed essentials split 50/50; lifestyle upgrades split by [X/Y] or paid personally.”

A practical way to set your ratio (without spreadsheets)

If you choose income-ratio splitting, keep it simple:

Add your monthly take-home numbers.
Convert them into a clean ratio you can remember (like 60/40, 55/45, 70/30).
Use that ratio for deposits and joint setup fees.

House rule: Don’t recalculate unless something changes materially. The goal is fairness, not constant tuning.

Prevent the “I paid it all upfront” problem

One-time costs often happen fast: someone books the movers, pays the deposit, buys the basics. Without a rule, the payer can feel alone and the other can feel accused.

Pick one of these fairness options:

Fairness option 1: “Reimburse within the same month”

“Anything paid upfront from personal money gets reimbursed from the Move & Setup Fund using our split ratio.”

Fairness option 2: “Set a project cap”

“We each contribute up to [cap %] of take-home to the Move & Setup Fund. Costs beyond that are paused and decided together.”

Fairness option 3: “One pays, one compensates”

“If one person covers the deposit, the other covers a matching set of essentials (moving help + setup fees) until it feels balanced.”

Pick one and write it down. The best system is the one you can follow without resentment.

Groceries and rent still matter—keep them separate

Deposits and setup fees can accidentally distort your normal budget. Keep your everyday rules stable:

Copy-paste rent rule

“Rent and core bills are split [X/Y] by take-home income (or 50/50).”

Copy-paste groceries rule

“Groceries and household basics are split using the same ratio as rent. Personal snacks and treats are personal.”

This prevents a move from rewriting your entire money system.

Travel-fund style rule (works great for setup costs)

If you already like a travel fund, you can use the same pattern for moving/setup:

Copy-paste Move & Setup Fund rule

“We contribute [X/Y] into the Move & Setup Fund until it reaches [target as %] of monthly take-home.”
“Deposit payments come from the fund when possible; if not, the payer gets reimbursed from the fund first.”
“Unused money after setup is either saved as an emergency buffer or returned in our split ratio—decide once.”

Conversation prompts (short, low-drama)

Use these in one sitting to set the rules:

“What do we want to protect most: fairness, simplicity, or cashflow?”
“Which costs are truly joint essentials for us, and which are personal preferences?”
“If we disagree on an upgrade, what’s our default: cheaper joint option or personal add-on?”
“If a deposit is partly withheld, what feels fair without turning it into an investigation?”
“What would make either of us quietly resentful, and how do we avoid that?”

Aim for clear defaults. You’re designing a system that reduces friction, not a system that proves who’s right.

Common friction points (and the calm rules that solve them)

“But it’s refundable, so it doesn’t count”

Refundable still means your money is tied up.

Rule: Deposits use your deposit split model, and the return follows the same ratio.

“Setup costs are all over the place”

Some setup costs are essentials; others are lifestyle.

Rule: Essentials are joint, upgrades require a clear yes from both—or become personal.

“I’m worried I’ll end up paying more”

That fear usually comes from unclear boundaries.

Rule: Use one cap (as a percentage of take-home) for any single setup purchase, and one split model for joint items.

If this feels hard, start here

Use this fallback rule set and keep it moving:

“Deposits: split by take-home income ratio, returned in the same ratio.”
“Setup fees: joint essentials split 50/50; anything optional is personal unless we both say yes.”
“Any single purchase above [cap %] of take-home needs a quick agreement; otherwise we choose the cheaper option.”