That thing sitting in your online basket might not need to become yours at all.
I know the feeling. A school message lands at 8:17 p.m.: “Please bring a hot glue gun for the craft project tomorrow.” Or your child suddenly needs ski trousers for one weekend. Or you see a carpet cleaner on sale and think, Actually, we do need one of those. Before you know it, another €29.99, €54.95, or €119 disappears into the household fog.
Here is the simple rule that has saved us more money than most complicated budgeting systems:
If you will use it fewer than three times in the next year, try to borrow it before you buy it.
Yes, this takes 10 minutes. No, it will not change your life overnight. But for a busy family, it stops a surprising amount of spending.
The Quick Version
Before buying something non-urgent, ask:
- Will we use this at least three times this year?
- Can we borrow it from a friend, neighbor, family member, school parent, or local group?
- Can we rent it cheaply instead?
- If we still need it after borrowing once, should we buy used?
- If we buy it, where will it live?
If the answer to number five is “on top of the laundry pile,” pause.
Why This Rule Works So Well for Families
Family life creates lots of one-time needs. Not luxury needs. Real needs.
A costume for carnival. A drill for one shelf. A travel cot for visiting cousins. A cake tin shaped like a football because apparently that is now emotionally important. A roof box for one holiday. A baby carrier your child may hate.
Individually, these purchases feel reasonable. Based on a family of four in a German city, here are realistic examples:
- Costume accessory: €10-€25
- Kids’ sports gear for a short phase: €30-€80
- Tool for a small home job: €25-€120
- Party supplies or special baking tin: €10-€35
- Baby or toddler item: €20-€100
- Seasonal clothing for one trip: €25-€90
The problem is not one purchase. It is the pattern.
For us, the aha moment came when I realised we had spent nearly €180 in one month on things we used once. Not bad things. Not silly things. Just stuff that solved a tiny problem and then moved into a cupboard forever.
My Borrow-Before-Buy Rule
Here is the exact version I use now.
Borrow first if:
- It is for a one-time event
- It is seasonal
- It takes up storage space
- You are not sure your child will stick with the activity
- You need it because of a last-minute school or daycare request
- It costs more than €20 and is not part of normal weekly life
Buy if:
- You use it weekly
- Borrowing would be stressful every time
- Hygiene matters and second-hand is not a good fit
- It saves money repeatedly
- It prevents bigger costs later
For example, I would buy good lunch boxes because we use them constantly. I would not buy a chocolate fountain for one birthday party. Even if the children strongly disagree.
Where to Borrow Without Making It Weird
Start with the lowest-friction options.
Ask one parent directly. Not the whole class chat at first, unless that feels normal in your group. One clear message works better than a vague “Does anyone maybe have...?”
Copy-paste script:
Hi! Random question: do you happen to have a hot glue gun / ski helmet / costume cape we could borrow for Thursday? Totally fine if not. We only need it once and I’m trying not to buy another thing that will live in our cupboard forever.
For neighbors:
Hi, quick practical question. Do you have a drill / ladder / carpet cleaner we could borrow for an afternoon? Happy to return it cleaned and with chocolate attached.
For family:
Before I buy one, do you have a spare travel cot / kids’ suitcase / rain cover we could borrow for the weekend?
The key is to be specific, give a return time, and make it easy for them to say no.
What Did Not Work for Us
I tried posting broad requests like, “Does anyone have party stuff?” That was too vague. People do not want to mentally scan their whole basement for you.
I also tried borrowing things without setting a return date. Bad idea. Then the item sits by the door for three weeks, silently judging you.
And I once borrowed something slightly broken because I felt awkward saying no. Also bad. If it creates more work than buying, it is not saving you money. It is just outsourcing stress to your future self.
When Renting Beats Borrowing
Some items are better rented, especially if they are expensive or bulky.
Think:
- Carpet cleaner
- Power tools
- Roof box
- Party tables
- Baby travel gear
- Ski equipment
If renting costs €15-€40 and buying costs €100-€300, the math is usually obvious. Especially if storage at home is already a competitive sport.
The “Still Want It After Borrowing?” Test
Borrowing also shows whether you actually like the thing.
We once borrowed a kitchen gadget I was convinced would make weekday dinners easier. It did not. It had six parts, three of which needed special cleaning, and somehow created more washing-up than the meal itself. Saved: about €79.
On the other hand, we borrowed a balance bike for our youngest and used it constantly for two weeks. That was a clear buy-used situation. We found one for €35 instead of buying new for around €90.
Borrowing is not about never buying. It is about buying with evidence.
How to Track the Savings Without Making It a Project
You do not need a spreadsheet with twelve tabs. Just note what you almost bought and what you did instead.
Example:
- Borrowed ski trousers instead of buying: saved around €40
- Rented carpet cleaner instead of buying: saved around €120
- Borrowed costume pieces: saved around €25
- Bought used balance bike after testing: saved around €55
That is €240 not leaking out of the month.
This is where a spending app like Monee can be useful, especially if two adults are paying for family stuff from different accounts. Tracking categories like kids, home, groceries, and subscriptions gives you that “oh, that’s where it all goes” moment. The shared household view also helps avoid the classic “Wait, did you already pay for that?” conversation.
Screenshot Checklist
Before buying, ask:
- Will we use this at least three times this year?
- Is this for a one-time event or short phase?
- Can we borrow it from one specific person?
- Can we rent it for less than half the purchase price?
- Could we buy it used after testing?
- Do we have space to store it?
- Will this save money repeatedly?
- Are we buying because we need it, or because we are tired?
Borrowing before buying is not about being stingy. It is about making the pause normal. And in a family budget, that pause is often where the money stays.
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